Yes, it’s another night that I’m not sleeping – I woke up early this morning, didn’t nap when I got home, put in a full day at work, and yet I’m wide awake at 1:15 am. Well, at this point I suppose I should say yesterday morning, since today is tomorrow already.
I’ve got a lot going through my mind right now, which is probably a large part of why I’m imitating an insomniac – most of it things that can’t easily be broadcast. Heck, can’t easily be put into words – just random thoughts, walks down random future history paths… following the lines between the worlds of if.
I’ve always been introspective – it comes with my introverted nature, I think – and sometimes it comes out with a vengeance. This has been one of the weeks it’s come out to play. I can never figure out why it triggers, or what makes it go away, except in very rare very specialized situations. Maybe this is part of the reason I do photography – it’s a release of tension that I may not be aware of, or maybe a way of working out tension. Maybe it’s just a way of distracting my conscious mind while my unconscious works on a thorny issue. It seems to be, because I’ve always had the urge to drag the camera out and burn through film when I drop into these moods.
With luck, my new film should get here soon – I ordered two sets of film from eBay (won at auction, actually) – all B&W film. 320TXP, I think, though I’ll get reminded when I get the film, of course. I’ve also got two more rolls hanging up to dry, and have finished scanning one of the rolls I developed last night.
I think I need to try to get to sleep now, so I’ll leave you with a sample scan from the film I developed last night. This is from my shoot with Kristen Fesnak about a year ago (yes, it took my sad, sorry lazy butt that long to get around to developing the film).
